Happy and sad.

I taught my little girl two new words yesterday.

When she woke up in the morning, she nursed, popped off, and then started blowing me kisses from three inches away. It was, once again, the cutest and sweetest thing ever. I put on a big smile, pointed to my face, and said "Happy!" She got it immediately, put on her own big beautiful smile, and said "Hatty!" I told her, "You make mama so happy," and she smiled even bigger before giving me big hugs.

Last thing in the evening, in the minutes before the little girl's bedtime, her daddy and I had a fight. He has a huge, booming voice that shakes the walls, and he yelled at me and called me stupid. Rather than escalate further, I picked her up and walked out of the living room and into her room, shutting the door behind us. I didn't want to further traumatize her by bursting into tears, but clearly I was unhappy and she looked anxious. I made a sad face, pointed to it, and said "Sad," and she made that crumpled-up face she makes the moment before she bursts into tears. I said, "It makes me sad when daddy yells at me and calls me names," and she threw her arms and legs around me in a full-body hug and put kisses all over my face.

I know it's wrong to let her see us fighting, or to encourage her to take sides. But she happened to be there when the fight just came out of nowhere, and I couldn't hide my upset from her, because right then was time for our bedtime routine. And she really did do the most wonderful job making her mama feel better. But this can't happen again - it's not the job of a 1 1/2-year-old to comfort mama after daddy makes mama cry. Fortunately that doesn't actually happen all that often.

By the way, after further discussion of the quad issue, my husband realized that he's just going to have to trade in his motorcycle or sell it on consignment, emotional attachment or not. He thinks he can get $4K for it. I'd be far more comfortable with financing $1K than $5K. This, I can live with. Or, even less expensively, he's considering just rehabbing a dirt bike he picked up for cheap that's been sitting in his garage for over a year. He thinks he can get it running for just a couple of hundred dollars, and that that would satisfy his need for speed for at least one or two riding seasons. Works for me.