My babygirl's growing up. Dieting time approaches.

My babygirl, at 16 months, is starting to scale back her nursing and also her consumption of pumped breastmilk. Yesterday she nursed when we woke up together at 6:30 but then not again until 3PM. Even then, I initiated nursing because my boobs were throbbing and aching. She did nurse three more times though, including her going-to-sleep session, which clearly is going to be the last nursing session to go when she finally weans. Its form has changed throughout her life so far, but right now the way it goes is that she nurses for a crazy long time, then finally decides she's had enough, rolls away from me and falls asleep. But the fact that she went for eight and a half hours without asking to nurse really blows my mind. She's always been such a boobie baby.

On the days that I work, her daddy gives her the milk I've pumped on previous days. For most of her life, she would have three or even four 6-oz bottles over the course of the day. When I first returned to work I was pumping four times a day to keep up with her need. Yeah, it was as rough as it sounds. Finally I went down to three pump sessions a day, and that's where I've been ever since. This usually allows me to generate two and a half bottles a day. Then, on the days I'm home, I manage to squeeze in one small pump session per day to top off that third bottle. Within the last few weeks, since we started giving her soy milk instead of whole cow's milk, she's really cut back on her breastmilk consumption. Two bottles, or sometimes even just one, per day. I've been freezing one or two full bottles every work day. Clearly I don't need to still be pumping three times per day. Starting today, I'm dropping to two sessions. Hooray! If she keeps cutting back I'll drop to just one session soon. And there, on the horizon, I can see that happy day when I pack up my pump, bring it home, and stick it in the basement to await the possible arrival of baby #2. I will so NOT miss pumping.

The downside of all this is that I will need to start watching my diet soon. I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. I lost 30 immediately but have been carrying around the extra 40 ever since. Why? Because I discovered that for so long as I am breastfeeding, I can eat ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I WANT and not gain an ounce. Or lose an ounce for that matter, but c'mon people, eat and not gain weight? Yeah, sign me up. Now that the breastfeeding is winding down, though, I need to scale back my eating and even start hacking away at that forty pounds that stands between me and all my nice size 10-12 clothing packed away in bins in the basement. Coincidentally, there is a new Weight Watchers group forming at my work starting next Monday. I think it's a sign that I'm meant to join. I hate dieting. I hate exercising (for exercise's sake, that is, as opposed to doing fun things that get my heart rate up). I've actually never done a diet that required me to count anything, whether calories or points or whatever else. But the time has come. I cannot put off the inevitable anymore. I cannot pretend to be a woman in control of my destiny and still be a slave to my food dependencies to the extent that I waddle around with an extra forty pounds on board. And I cannot set a good example of healthy food behaviors for my child this way, something I swore I would do to try to spare her the misery I went through as an overweight kid and teenager.

This is going to be tough. I love to eat. I love to eat healthy food. I love to eat unhealthy food. I love sweets. I love fats. I love carbs. I love meat. I love veggies, especially slathered in butter. I love fruits, especially when they are inside pastry or pies. I love dairy products, especially the full-fat versions. I love eggs, and could happily eat three a day every day (as I did while pregnant) for the rest of my life. Shit, I'm making myself hungry right now. But I am going to have to scale back on my indulgence of all these loves or else I will stay heavy and that's just not acceptable anymore.

Anyway, 'nuff said. Here, for your entertainment, are a few more cute pictures of my babygirl. Because of course everyone in the world enjoys pictures of my babygirl as much as I do. Of course.

Wait, I'm missing the icon to post pictures. Don't know why this happens and when it does I never know how long it will last. But it looks like you'll be spared for at least a few hours til my picture icon comes back. Sigh...