Goshdarndagnabbit, STILL sick, STILL tired...

For how long can this go on?!?!

The six adults and four children/babies in my house have been passing variations on the same cold around and around and around since friggin' September. Now I have the version that comes with uncontrollable sneezes, occasional uncontrollable tickle-throat coughing, a low-grade fever, a mild earache, and nasal passages that slam shut like Alcatraz as soon as one assumes a horizontal position. Needless to say, not good for sleeping. I actually slept on the couch to allow my hubby and our babygirl to sleep uninterrupted by my hacking and sneezing.

Anyway...

I just wanted to express how grateful I am to have this space to air those feelings which have no outlet in my flesh-and-blood life. Perhaps you might have read my rant from last week about my long-term guest Babymama. Perhaps you thought it was really frigging harsh. I suppose it was, at that. But you know what? Having expressed those awful, mean-spirited feelings in some sort of outward fashion, without knowing whether anyone will (or has) read it, I feel as if they have been lifted somewhat from my shoulders. Not as if they have been taken away. More as if I have some sort of assistance in carrying them along. I was able to deal with her in a decent, kind, non-confrontative manner all weekend instead of seething over with unexpressed passive-agressive anger. I was able to see that this is a woman who is clearly suffering from undiagnosed but relatively severe depression, not to mention a killer attack of migraine headaches. Should she be taking more responsibility for her life and the course it takes? Absolutely, yes. But does she face more obstacles to doing so than I have ever had to face on even my worst day? Again, absolutely yes. I want to be helpful without being an enabler; I want to give her a firm but friendly push in the right direction without kicking her (literally) to the curb. And, oh yes, I want my babygirl's bedroom back... someday...